Are You Struggling With Love, Porn or Sex Addiction?
- Do you feel most energized when you first meet a new love interest?
- After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, do you feel dissatisfied and frustrated, searching for the rush of infatuation?
- When you are single, do you feel desperate for attention and connection?
- Do you pursue whatever means possible to avoid being single, including starting a new relationship before ending an existing one?
- Are you constantly romanticizing and idealizing relationships, even when your fantasies interrupt your ability to engage at work, during social events and with other activities?
- Do you actively avoid reflecting on past relationships and hurts, even if that means cutting people out of your life?
- Does the idea of being alone deeply terrify you?
- Is porn impacting your ability to fulfill day-to-day responsibilities?
- Do you obsess over the next time you can watch porn?
- Have you faced consequences for watching porn at work, at school or in another inappropriate setting?
- Are you afraid of what might happen if others—especially your romantic partner—knew how much porn you watch?
- Are you finding it increasingly difficult—or even impossible—to get aroused and enjoy sex?
- Do you feel guilty and confused about the kind of porn you watch, especially if it’s violent or incongruent with your sexual identity?
- Have you tried to reduce your porn intake, but feel drawn back to it again and again, as though you don’t have control over your own choices?
- Do you feel compelled to search for casual, meaningless sex, even if you feel distressed and empty afterward?
- Are you fixated on the idea of the perfect sexual partner?
- Do you struggle to see sexual partners as people, rather than objects or a means to an end?
- Have you neglected or hurt friends, family members or romantic partners to pursue sex?
- Have you engaged in risky sexual behavior and worry about the consequences to your physical health?
- Are you worried that sex has become your entire world, but feel unable to eradicate compulsive thoughts and behaviors on your own?
Regardless of the particular compulsions and behaviors you are struggling with, you may feel guilty, ashamed and alone. You may fear that someday you will do something you deeply regret. Perhaps you already regret choices you made in the past, especially if they led to a painful breakup, the end of a career or physical illness. Still, you may not know how to control obsessive, racing thoughts and strong, persistent urges. Your relationship with love, porn and sex may be overwhelming. More than anything, you may feel that something is wrong and that no one could possibly understand.
You Are Not Alone
So many people struggling with love addiction, porn addiction or sex addiction feel isolated and overwhelmed, as though they are living in the dark, weighed down by shameful secrets. It can seem as though no one ever talks about these experiences, except when discussing a celebrity or public figure to whom you don’t wish to be likened. In truth, you are far from alone, and your struggle with addiction does not mean you are bad or broken.
Although love, porn and sex addiction are all different, they have similar root causes. Each person learns how to understand sex and relationships from an early age, and sometimes the messages you receive from your early caregivers—whether they never talked about sex or talked about it too much—leads to ongoing uncertainty later in life.
Trauma, especially childhood trauma, can also have an enormous impact on the ways you approach sex and love. For example, if you suffered abandonment or neglect early in life, you may feel terrified of being left alone. Consciously or unconsciously, you may search for ways to escape the pain of the past, even if a new relationship or a new sexual partner only offers fleeting relief.
Addiction to love or sex is called a “process addiction.” Even though you don’t ingest addictive chemicals, you engage in behaviors that produce them in the brain, creating short-term pleasure and stronger urges for more. Porn addiction is more similar to a chemical addiction because it can actually change the brain. In the cases of both process and chemical addiction, most people cannot make lasting changes without help. This doesn’t mean you are weak—instead, it means you are human. Thankfully, with the proper guidance and support, you can address addiction, better manage cravings and heal in mind, body and spirit.
Love, Porn and Sex Addiction Therapy Can Help You Take Hold of Your Life
Sexuality is as wide ranging as the sky, and addiction manifests differently for every person. I offer a safe, nonjudgmental space for you to share your experience with someone you can trust. And, regardless of your particular experience, one thing is certain—I will not tell you that you have to choose abstinence and go the rest of your life without sex or relationships. I will not judge your sexual orientation, preferences or kinks. Instead, as your therapist, I will listen to you, accept you and help you discover what you—as an individual—need to feel empowered and fulfilled.
From the very first session, we will work collaboratively to investigate your experience and understand your most deeply held needs and wants. Because the images we encounter in childhood imprint on our brains, we will work to uncover which images are driving your compulsions today. As we unpack the relationships and events that shaped your past, including any family of origin issues or traumas, you are likely to discover a profound sense of relief.
As you connect the dots between the past and the present, you can cultivate a new sense of self-acceptance and agency over your choices. As an addiction counselor with over 20 years of experience treating substance addiction, I know that you can find relief from compulsions and enjoy lasting healing. With honesty, open-mindedness and a willingness to change, you can reconnect with your true self, honor your deepest values and move forward into a truly satisfying life.
You may have questions or concerns about love, porn and sex addiction treatment…
I’m worried that I can’t change.
If you want to change, you have already won one-third of the battle. If you are willing to dedicate your time and effort into making a change, then no matter who you are, it is possible to experience profound transformation and growth.
It’s also important to remember you are not your addiction, and your addiction does not define you. Like many people struggling with addiction, you may feel as though you don’t quite know your true self. Perhaps you fear that, without a relationship or sex, you are inadequate or incomplete in some way. Discovering your authentic self is a key component of the love, porn and sex addiction treatment process. I encourage you to explore with curiosity and acceptance.
You’ll judge me for what I share in sessions.
I am an experienced, open-minded therapist who works with everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship configuration and sexual preference. When it comes to sex, as long as it’s consensual and doesn’t harm anyone, then there’s nothing wrong with it. In therapy sessions, you don’t have to fear judgment from me, and you can begin to release judgments you might be holding about yourself.
How could love, porn and sex addiction therapy possibly work?
Studies have shown that, thanks in part to increased research, therapy can help people recover from love, porn and sex addiction. If you are struggling and ready to seek help, it’s essential to work with a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) who has dedicated training and experience with these addictions. I have a vast array of tools and strategies that can help you create lasting change in your life. Most importantly, I believe in you and your innate ability to heal.
Live As Your Authentic Self
I invite you to call me at 303.910.0800 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation. We can discuss love, porn and sex addiction therapy and my practice in Englewood, CO.
In addition to working with you individually, I can help you select a supplementary support program that might help, including Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.), Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA) and COSA.